a question 9/20/23

by | Sep 20, 2023 | a question

i can’t go again. not because i can’t handle being there, but because i can’t endure coming back. i have withstood much. the presence of demons, the attacks of devils, communion with angels and even being utterly cut off from the very Silence i worship. the weight of...

je ne regrette rien

by | Jul 19, 2023 | a question

Nothing? How can I? The other day I watched clouds stride across the sky. For an hour the herd slowly dispersed until the field was it’s beautiful empty blue. They’re always the same. A cloud never forgets who they are. They remember everything. Every...

twenty years to the day

by | Oct 16, 2022 | a question

If the eight year old version of me could see me now I know what he would think. First he’d be surprised we made it passed twenty six. Never thought we’d be so old. Next he would be glad we could grow a mustache. He would note that we’re not as tall as we thought we’d...

part of a conversation

by | Oct 26, 2021 | a question

Each time I’ve lived or spent time with someone I like, I look forward to disappearing again. Why do you think that is? I am easily bored. That seems sort of sad. To be so easily bored by others. I have been wondering if it is and if I should...

gentle madness

by | Aug 23, 2021 | a question

Sometimes I ask myself “Where was I?” as I look down at my feet trying to remember the shoes I wore when it happened. I looked down a lot back then. The uncertainty of the things in front of me became the back drop to the reality of laced up leather or suede....