I have plenty of journal entries, notes on dreams, bad poems, love letters, and short stories that I have written over the years. Many of these works involve temperature, namely suffering in the cold and desiring heat. Warmth was always the ideal, the out of reach goal I could never achieve on my own. Clothing, fire, water, brick, sunshine, lovers. All of them failed to give me what I craved most. Even God it seemed to me had decided I needed to freeze in order to learn a lesson. The pain that it caused I will not even attempt to describe as I have many times. This cold, because it was around so long, became me. I did not know myself outside of the aches and numbness. Meaninglessly, I was dead. The only thing that I clung to in the cold were five words written for me. “You will feel warm again.” This kindness kept me certain that one day I would be okay. Through every failure and false hope of being able to feel normally I fell back on these words. Every time doubt crept into my mind I was reminded that I would feel warm again. Then, one evening, after years of trying to figure out why I was this way, a stranger told me it was time. He said there were new things to learn, but I needed to be healed of this cold. Then rust was drained from my blood as the bloody dagger I had driven into my heart all those years ago was drawn out. I’m still not sure I fully understand what I was meant to learn, but I have been given reprieve. That night I slept comfortably for the first time in years. Free of dream filled agony and frozen fingers. I feel warm again, though a scar still remains where the blade stood for so long. It is a reminder of what I once was, and a warning to never return. In the year since then I have been sequestered in quiet stillness listening for answers to thousand year old questions. I have given up my mind and died in meaningful ways. My companion whispers quietly when I walk astray, reminding me of the scar I put within my chest and the pain he took away. So here is to a year of warmth, and if you are cold remember this. You will feel warm again.