I’ve hit this point now where I realize I am not being known again
It’s hard because I don’t want to be known by those around me
However there is that familiar aching in my chest when I exhale
And with each breath I think of the names of those I want to know me
So I’ve spent days searching for a new place to grow community
Because the happiest I’ve ever been and the happiest I will ever be
Is when I was and when I am thousands of miles away from here
I feel bad because I just cannot muster any feelings about this place
Honestly I can’t say that I hate it here but I don’t love it at all either
Somehow from the places to the people to even the taste of the air
I can’t stand it
It’s like I’m dead
Half of the time I’m trying to improve myself to help my odds of leaving
The other half I’m staring off into the clouds mentally yelling at myself
I am so utterly and brutally bored of what this place has to offer me
I am so completely disappointed with what I have to offer this place
Today I smiled at a stranger while walking and the stranger smiled back
Yesterday I said have a nice day to a stranger and the stranger smiled back
The day before that I nodded at a stranger and the stranger smiled back
A week ago
A month ago
A year ago
Everywhere, even in the mirror, the strangers just smile back
It’s hard because I don’t want to be known by those around me
However there is that familiar aching in my chest when I exhale
And with each breath I think of the names of those I want to know me
So I’ve spent days searching for a new place to grow community
Because the happiest I’ve ever been and the happiest I will ever be
Is when I was and when I am thousands of miles away from here
I feel bad because I just cannot muster any feelings about this place
Honestly I can’t say that I hate it here but I don’t love it at all either
Somehow from the places to the people to even the taste of the air
I can’t stand it
It’s like I’m dead
Half of the time I’m trying to improve myself to help my odds of leaving
The other half I’m staring off into the clouds mentally yelling at myself
I am so utterly and brutally bored of what this place has to offer me
I am so completely disappointed with what I have to offer this place
Today I smiled at a stranger while walking and the stranger smiled back
Yesterday I said have a nice day to a stranger and the stranger smiled back
The day before that I nodded at a stranger and the stranger smiled back
A week ago
A month ago
A year ago
Everywhere, even in the mirror, the strangers just smile back